I Don't Want To Be A Nice Person

Do you remember this? https://thenewblogsp.blogspot.com/.  Yeah...and so you'd probably think I was crazy or something? No, that was honest writing that was true. And I'm still thinking this way because it's my philosophy. I wish it were eventually time for good news, but no good news will ever make up for ANYTHING. I didn't mean to do anything horrible, but as I've tried mentioning, I have the impression that I must've done horrible things, because apparently I've deserved a life which is psychologically oppressive. I have been a fool in the past, but I've changed and a multitude of things is not getting better but rather life is getting worse with time; the more I think about specific events which I always remember, the worse life seems. It was once a battlefield, and now things are turning around, although only myself is changing; the people around me are not. So it won't make a difference. That's why I've been indifferent, because the people around me are indifferent. It's why I tend to have negative thoughts. I won't stop with negative thoughts until the people around me turn around their behavior, then I will consider changing. I'm a stubborn person and that's the way I was born; and mean people are not nice. I live with some stubborn people and hate it. It's horrible. Oh wait, I've been yelled at for the simplest things and have felt before as though the worst would happen; Sorry people, but I can't tolerate that so no, I won't change because I've come to realize that those around me just want to practically forget what they're like so I will forget about turning my life around. Sure, it might be a psychological challenge to stay who you are, and for me it's extremely difficult to be myself at times but I probably shouldn't turn my life around and be a nice person because it's not working. I refuse to be a nice person. Obviously, it's not good for public relations to be bad; but the problem is, I was born this way. I don't think I'm a loser though. That would be a foolish thought. It's great to be brave and tell what you're thinking. That is what I think about my philosophy.