Sometimes I feel as though I've been kicked in the crotch; I often feel emotionally drained; It's like a lack of adrenaline or some other chemical that makes me feel like this; I almost wish that pain was nonexistent or that perhaps someone could convince me that it's actually a great feeling, because then I could let psychological pain pass me by and be able to finally accept it. I remember reading about a painting that was an analogy of pain. The painting might be ugly to you, but can someone convince you that the painting's nice? Will your perception then change? That's about my problem, the problem would go away at least a little if I could move out by myself. Then if my question doesn't get answered, I will have some solace. However, I have to say, the pain that has plagued my life so far seems like a scar that might never go away. You try to stop thinking about it, but it doesn't get better with time. I could continue to pretend that I'm fine and that I'm smiling and all that but that would be fake. Things must change. I don't know if things can change for the better. Although I know that there can be a change for the different.